Artist Statement
The creation of my spiritual series of "Sun Angels" began with symptoms of menopause in the early 2010s, and by 2015, I discovered that these symptoms were complicated by my diagnosis of Monoclonal Gammopathy of Unknown Significance (MGUS), a pre-cancerous stage of multiple myeloma. MGUS and menopause share symptoms of weakness, aches, fatigue, sweating due to hot flashes and night sweats, discomfort, and malaise. In late 2015, as autumn descended, I learned of my potential to contract multiple myeloma, a rare blood cancer that manifests in the bone marrow. It wreaks havoc on your organs and compromises your immune system. At that moment, my life shifted dramatically; I am forever different because of it.
The implosion of my life situation was felt on every level of my psyche. It numbed me in every way, and I walked through life in a daze for months. The only relief was found through walking laps around my neighborhood and immersing my entire being in New Hampshire's vast, open blue skies that capped my neighborhood like a free-flowing dome. Something about the blueness of the skies, adorned with a pendant-like bright, whitish-yellow, untouchably suspended diligent sun and the sometimes scuttling fluffy clouds, gave me respid. Then, I took my cell phone out, capturing those moments. Little did I know that my artistic tendencies would erupt, creating a massive catalog of inspirational, colorful digital pieces now known as my spiritual “Sun Angels.”
These photos show the sudden weight loss between 2015 and 2017, after I was diagnosed with MGUS, a marker for multiple myeloma
I believe you must bring your whole self to the table if you want to thrive in today’s chaotic world: your personality, your sense of humor, and most importantly, your heart. These elements inspired me to create “ClarityIsJustSoHip!” in 2016 via Instagram. Now defunct, the Instagram page is a time capsule of those moments.
The artistic works were created to spread love and light. On @ClarityIsJustSoHip, I posted over 800 pieces in one year with this mission in mind. These pieces symbolize my Buddhist practice, recovery, and healing. Inspired by the New Hampshire sun and skies, the designs begin with a photo of the blazing sun, taken on afternoon walks in my neighborhood as I recovered. Since then, I have enshrined optimism and hope in my designs and writings.
Instagram: @clarityisjustsohip
Me in 2024 with my preventative medications for smoldering myeloma
Fasting forward to March of 2022, I was hospitalized and had emergency surgery for a massive B-cell lymphoma tumor that wrapped itself like a donut around my upper spine. Later, I found out that the symptoms I thought were related to menopause signaled the development of the cancer. I was so focused on menopause and getting relief through hormonal therapy that it never dawned on me that there could be a deeper problem. A doctor told me before surgery that I had a fifty percent chance of paralysis, but they were surprised soon after surgery that my legs moved. They immediately began a rehabilitation program, and one of the doctors told me I was in the one percent to walk again after such surgery. During this time, I watched the undulating New Hampshire mountain ridges seen through my hospital window and immersed myself in nature videos since I could not leave to walk freely like I used to. In this way, I remained connected to my spirit and pushed my way through to walk fully again in less than a year. Through my mother-daughter project, Sista Creatives Rising, we created a documentary about my journey. Doctors are still confounded that multiple myeloma did not rear its head during that time. However, in January 2024, almost two years in remission from lymphoma, I was diagnosed with smoldering myeloma, putting me on the cusp of full-blown myeloma. In late 2024, I started cancer-preventative therapy to stave off this outcome. This will be a lifelong sojourn.
Photos of me with my back brace after neuro-spine surgery
My spiritual “Sun Angels” represent the number of days on a journey back to wholeness, clarity, love, and peace. Over the past years, as I struggled, I created a system called ClarityIsJustSoHip!: Clarity, Awareness, Presence, Acceptance, and Gratitude. Within this system, combined with a consistent Buddhist practice, I run negative emotions that occasionally rear their persistence through a wash, rinse, and repeat the cycle until those feelings become peaceful. I believe life is too short to waste dwelling on ‘what-could-have-been’ or ‘what-ifs.’ Every day since my diagnosis, I wake up feeling brand new and ready to tackle whatever is thrown my way. Good or bad, I go with the flow. My call to action today is to “get ahead of life before life gets ahead of you!” I hope these works will inspire, motivate, and brighten the lives of those suffering amidst the chaos.
Birthed through the darkest moments of a health crisis, these works share the story of my journey back to whole health and balance via digitally manipulated iPhone photos, inspirational/motivational quotes, and self-improvement writings. Each piece is manipulated repeatedly and put through various apps until a satisfactory design emerges. My daughter edits the designs for print & more.
